The Gym Ruined My Self Esteem

I have always been a big girl. Never really had a problem with it. I like my thick thighs, hips and big boobs. I've never had a problem getting guys or keeping boyfriends. I walked with confidence and girls smaller would tell me how much sex appeal I had. I was on top of the world and than someone talked me into getting a gym membership. It would be fun, they said. You will feel even better about yourself, they said. After a few weeks I started seeing results and wanted to see more. A year later I was so unhappy with the way my body looked because I saw other girls working out and they had more muscles. For the first time in a long time I lost my swagger. I lost my confidence and I noticed a lot of my relationships started to suffer. So what did I decide to do? Get my sexy back.

I tossed out the mindset of going to the gym every day. I'm not a gym rat and trying to force myself to actually get up and go was making me tired and cranky. I know go at least three times a week and workout for 30 to 45 minuets.

I eat what I want but in moderation. OK, I don't want to be on that show My 600-pound Life but I also don't want to go around not eating sweets because they might show up on my hips. So yes you will see me eating a pie or cookies. Hell I might even down a candy bar but what you won't see me doing is eating that way every day.

I look in the mirror and find positive things about myself. Instead of saying how big my thighs are I tell myself how perky my boobs are. I make it a point to look at myself in my clothes and find one thing I like and when I start to feel frumpy during the day I think back to that moment.

Yes the gym may have ruined my self esteem but I've decided to take it back.

#gym #MondayMusings

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© 2019 by PAULINA WOODS.

All work is from the imagination of Author Paulina Woods